All you need is love

When I think of this song, I think of Love Actually. And while the Beatles were undoubtedly chemically enhanced at that stage of their writing and recording career, they had the truth of it. Love lights up the darkest places in life.

It gets challenged. All the time. Every day. And sometimes it isn’t easy to look at.

Love is brave enough to dress in balaclava ski masks and perform punk rock protest in the streets. Love is bold enough to stick it out when the person you love is horribly changed in the blink of an eye. Love is tough enough to trust others to hold you and keep you at your most vulnerable, like how a friend of mine helps photograph stillborn babies with their grieving parents.

Love is standing up and speaking for the voiceless, even when it means you may be personally attacked.

It requires a great deal of inner dialogue, examination of the issues, and emotional durability. I’m not great at that last one, because it is HARD not to take feedback personally. The alternative is to stay silent. It’s not in my nature to do that, either. But our social landscape is shifting, and becoming a place that most people little recognize.

What are we to do in this society, I wonder, when everyone can vomit their anger and rage so effectively – so lethally – online? When it results in young kids committing suicide? Has normally reasonable people “screaming” in caps at one another? Allows perfect strangers to pass judgment over other perfect strangers? Send mass numbers of death threats in the matter of minutes?

Is this the fabric of society these days? We have no way of predicting for sure – just as we have no way of knowing what this landscape will look like in ten or twenty years. I think it bears each of us asking ourselves certain questions as we interact, probably. And that’s best left up to the individual, but for the ability to exert the control to go away from the computer for several minutes, step outside, breathe, and let go of reaction in favor of reason. By the time anyone might find their way back to what we were about to click “send” or “publish” on, our thoughts might have already shifted.

This brings us back to the idea of love, and what it means as we move into a brave new world. Love is never perfect, but it is forgiving. It might mean that you delete that response that had your blood boiling a moment before. Filtering your feed you don’t see the annoying political views from someone you otherwise like a lot. Not worrying when someone misinterprets your use of a phrase because you forgot to emphasize a particular word. Love lets it go.

Love certainly means speaking up when something is not right, but it also has a lot to do with accepting that mistakes and misunderstandings are more common than anything else we do in this life. And I begin to think that, instead of getting mad and commenting or posting, speaking up in favor of what you believe might be more effective if you get into the root of things – go and give your time to the causes you believe in, instead of yelling about them, and some of those troubling things might begin to get solved. Whatever it might be, if you approach it with love and compassion, there’s no chance it won’t be a good thing.

 

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